i began my week desperate to serve, to worship, and to be useful to the Superior Goddess Shawna. i had sent Her a message asking if i could be useful to Her as a sissy-maid - a service, and form of submission that i had occasionally performed for dominant Women in the past. i was delighted when She replied, and although She didn't dismiss the idea of this type of servitude, She demanded much more. She instantly required self-sacrifice and suffering before i would even be allowed in Her superior presence. She required suffering in the form of financial tribute. Because of my dismal financial situation, i thought W/we might be at a crossroads. i simply don't have the money to be able to be useful to this way. But i refused to give up. As Goddess Shawna had said, "It is not simply the dollar amount that is of importance. It is about the sacrifice of you giving up tribute to your Superior." Those words stuck with me, and i began immediately to think of ways that even a financially pathetic loser like me could be useful in this way. i had a few ideas: Her pimping me out on Nightflirt; Her pimping me out for real, but the one that i was immediately able to pursue was selling my worn panties to men. i placed an ad on Craigslist and would meet with men publicly and discreetly to exchange my panties for money. It was in the pursuit of that concept that i found a new appreciation for what Women have to endure with men. It quickly became clear to me that Femocracy is the future.
Long before i set out on this task, i had been a Female Supremacist - or so i had thought. i had long-believed that Women are superior, and that They deserve to be served and worshiped by men. i had realized a few years before that i had always been submissive to Women in one way or another, ever since i had been a child. i remember being scolded by my kindergarten teacher in front of the class and being humiliated by Her. When i was in grade two and at school one day, i was chased by two Girls and kicked in the balls. While i fell to the ground and groaned, They laughed uncontrollably. So, there were many experiences like that which left an imprint on me, and by the time i entered adulthood i began actively seeking out Women to submit to. i have been a submissive sissy for almost ten years, but it was only after i began trying to sell my panties to men, that i realized that Female Superiority and Femocracy need to be the norm in society - not just a fetish, and not just something me and a minority are interested in. This experience made me realize that Women and men should not be seen as equals in society, and that my fetishistic worship of Women was misguided - Women need to be worshiped by all men. Women are better. Period.
i am embarrassed to be a man. To be clear, i have never seen myself as a real man. i know that i'm not. i'm a sissy. Actually, i am a sissy with a tiny dick that could never satisfy a Woman. But the sad truth is that i am still a male, and what Goddess Shawna made me realize is that even a very successful, intelligent, good-looking, well-endowed man is still just a man. Like any man, he belongs in servitude, at the foot of a Woman. Perhaps there are different functions and different capacities different men should serve and worship, but all men should serve. i used to think that dominant Women saw men in two groups: real men and loser, submissive men. i have now realized that all men are losers, and that all men are inferior to Women. i believe that within the male gender there are degrees of beta; a hierarchy within the gender, but feel that all Women, not just those who consider Themselves dominant, should take ownership and control from the weaker male sex.
i offer as proof my experiences dealing with men while selling my panties. What a degenerate, ignorant, foolish species we are! The sheer rude, inconsiderate stupidity was really prevalent in most of my communications with men. Because i was putting myself out there as a sissy, it seemed that manners, and good behaviour no longer mattered. i came to realize that these weren't just cruel, inelegant predators that i was dealing with. At first i rationalized it that way, but came to understand these were the same guys that fawned over Women at work, that hit on Women at bars, that went to hockey games, and that sat around sharing pitchers of beer at the pub. It was like these men left to themselves, without judgement from the outside world because of the anonymity of the internet, completely degenerated into vile, despicable jerks. i wondered what that says about men? That to me seemed so obviously weak. Their behaviour was so blatantly designed to compensate. i immediately started to notice how husbands spoke condescendingly to their Wives at the grocery store, how they leered at Women in public when their Wives and Girlfriends weren't looking, and how even polite, well-mannered men walked around with puffed-chests and a false bravado. It really was literally nauseating.
i began to empathize, and feel very badly that Women have known men to be like this, and have been dealing with it since forever. Obviously not all men are the same. There are smart men, dumb men, good men and bad men. What i realized though, is that men regardless of how intelligent, are stupid in other ways. men are always stupid somehow. Maybe we are stupid on an emotional level, or on a common sense level, or only think with our dicks, or objectify Women. In whatever way or ways, all men are stupid somehow. All humans have their strengths and weaknesses, but with men, i observed that we are far weaker, and have far more overall weaknesses and flaws. It is as though men's good traits are not as good as when a Woman has the same trait; the opposite with negative traits.
By contrast, Women have natural strength and a sublime quality that men don't posses. Again, i don't want to generalize all Women. There are countless different personality types and dispositions for Women, as there is with men. The true difference that i have observed is that Women have a natural strength that men have to try to fabricate and project. If one were to take the most boisterous Woman and strip that trait away, there is still an underlying natural power. Likewise, i believe, if You took a sheepish, timid Woman and looked past those traits (which were most likely because of an overbearing man) there is still a natural strength. Whereas men overcompensate, Women simply are. Whereas men need Women, Women do not need men. Speaking biologically that is certainly the case. Women are constantly being sought after by desperate men. To be certain, all men are desperate at some level. We strut around like peacocks in the hopes of receiving attention from Women. i do not blame Women at all for being revolted by men - we are ridiculous creatures. Goddess Shawna has taught me to be revolted at myself.
The dignity with which Women conduct Themselves is more than most men are even capable of. It is shameful to me that Women, who are deserving of so much respect, admiration, and adoration are not yet an official ruling class. Women are stronger, smarter and better. i don't think that can be disputed. Rather than worship and cherish Women, men have objectified Them and have been ignorant.
i am thankful to Goddess Shawna for helping me to understand on a deeper level, just how much better She is than me, and how much better all Women are to all men. i know i have more learning to do, but i have began to get a much deeper sense of how low i am in Goddess Shawna's eyes, as well as just how lowly men are. In trying to earn money for Goddess Shawna, i have seen just how utterly pathetic men are. Of course, i am no exception. We are scum, and i am so ashamed. This has been a learning experience for me, and i am grateful to Goddess Shawna. i am hopeful for a world where Women rule completely; a world where men are simply used; a world where the dominant, superior sex controls the weak, feeble-minded men completely. For my part, i am dedicated to learning as much as i can about my failings the failings of my gender. i will put much effort into serving and worshiping Women like Goddess Shawna. All Woman are Goddesses, and men are .... who cares.